99% of these quotes are taken horribly out of context (usually an impersonation of someone from history), so they will sound much worse than intended. Also, there are more, but some were deemed unfit because they were either not as good or could have led to less-than-ideal situations for Naj. For this same reason, any future additions will first have to be approved after they are sent in.
“Those are some very perky glutes.”
“We’re horny, we are here to get laid.”
*in a high-pitched voice* “OMG Justin Bieber singing baby 17 times!”
“Joseph Stalin and Hitler are the strippers.”
“I got a hot date tonight.”
“Not to say I don’t like my muffin buttered.”
“I clench my buttocks with discomfort.”
“You guys don’t know how freaky he was.”
*In a high-pitched voice* “I can see your humanties!”
*In British accent* “I say, yes, eat Irish babies! Splendid!”
“Shite is much better.”
“Yeah, kill your dad and boof your mom!”
“Bald-headed, gong-ringing mofo.”
*In a high-pitched voice* “I’m Glinda the good witch, PING! Your vocabulary is amazing!”
“Hell, I’d wear the dress and crown if I had to.”
“If I had to choose between taking the AP Calc exam and strangling a puppy, sorry puppy.”
“Mmmm, ooo, hello.”
“I thought they were all a little more zaftig.”
“On it like a bonnet.”
“NEIN ADOLF!”
“Yes, mommy.”
“Uahhaaha, I'm gonna smoke marijuana.”
“You’re gonna use nunchuks to kill a zombie? Whoooaaa Whoooaaaa”
“They have politely requested to be released to be defecated on by cute little animals.”
“Shit’s shit”
“You’re going in my chum bag, BJ.”
“I’m happy, shark, but you, drunk driver, you stay away.”
“It’s gonna be the three divorced guys hanging out.”
“Googooguahhguahhguahh.”
“What do you do for a living? I’m a rotating companion.”
“What a good boy.”
“Do I go into the closet every week and go heehehehahhehee. No, that would be sad.”
“I got a new record: Scraping Fetus off the Wheel.”
“I’m going to kill my roommate.”
“You peanut farming pussy.”
“Makes me want my intestines to fall out of my ass.”
“Oh, whoops, someone put 17 metric tons of cocaine in this plane. How did that happen?”
“Oh boo hoo, I took a test and it was hawd, I need some quwakers and sowme miwk.”
“I’m going to pick up this podium and throw it at you.”
“What is it gonna be, porn or something?”
“We don’t want squeeze ass.”
“I never know what is gonna come out of your face.”
“It is one of the most grotesque, extravagant orgies.”
“I get off on stuff like that.”
“Isabel can’t come in strapped.”
“You basically get shit on all night.”
“Pweety Pweese come. That probably makes you want to come less.”
“Don’t do anything naughty. You’ll have plenty of time for that stuff later.”
“I’m not a big fan of nuts, but I’ll eat ‘em.”
“No hormones, maybe a little trickle in the girls.”
“She said she likes to groom me.”
“It will cause you to involuntarily soil your pants.”
“Splattered fecal matter everywhere.”
“Super yoda guru guy.”
“I feel like shit warmed over.”
“Alright, I got diarrhea, then I got volcanic, now I got erupting.”
“HERETIC, HERETIC, BURN HIM BUUUUUURN HIM!”
“Few! Thank god we killed that guy, sun god is back.”
“Shut up, I don’t care about your family and your baby, shut up!”
“When you shit your toga, it’s just kind of a mess.”
“They were constantly boofing each other, and if they weren't doing that they were
boofing mortals.”
“Oh my god, reddit says to do this.”
“If the labubu is the shadow on the wall what is the ideal form of the labubu?”
“I am an Amazon whore!”
“At least I know that bald-headed freak is behind me, flashing those shadows.”
“I could keel over later today.”
“Well you’re a bit moist.”
“Gross flesh bags filled with organs and juices and sticky stuff.”
“It’s going to be as long as I want it to be, and it’s going to be very uncomfortable for you.”
“To get a zero you’d have to have broken the nonaggression pact and invaded Poland."
“Good boy, do as your daddy says.”
“They’re shaking their cute boobies, and they’re shaking their cute butts.”
“I’m a monk, now I’m never gonna tap that, NEVER.”
“If I took out my bone saw, which I have in my bag by the way.”
“Now I won't be able to do what I normally do with my hand.”
“Why are you guys so into killing yourselves?”
“They have this nipple-like nub that sticks out of their ass.”
“I know a lot of you are probably thinking about adult diapers right now.”
“There’s ninety five things wrong with this bitch.”
“He was getting a PhD in vagueness!"
“Do I like how your thing is? I don’t know if I should answer that.”
“I’m usually the one who ends up crying after talking to you.”
“Is there anyone out there who’s really into pressing their hands onto hot stoves?”
“Scorched earth on this bitch right here.”
“I would have just killed him, hidden the body, and no one would have asked any questions.”
“Going for the young stuff.”
“Thank you, thank you, you’re all easy, but thank you.”
“It’s all porn of your mother.”
“Oh I’m gonna make him suffer for that.”
*New York accent* “Getthafuckouttathaway! Whatthafuckareyadoin? Getthafuckouttathaway!”
“You try spending six hours with shit in your pants.”
“I will eat my ass off.”
“You look like dogshit in that.”
“Well I’m kind of a boob guy.”
"She' s gotta have a slammin’ booty.”
“I’ll do anything to get that limited edition labubu”
“You’re a bitch but you turn me on, and I’ve got poodles all named the same thing.”
“Keep the money! Don’t be a stupid bitch.”
“We all know Liam's strapped.”
“My desires are as many women as I can nail, and these dogs.”
“I killed no one, at least that I’m aware of.”
“Oh my god, he was totally trying to boof me.”
“I’m gonna tie up his loose end.”
“I am going to tap dance on his face.”
“Decompressing?! I’m gonna decompress him.”
“We’re dudes, I mean if we see something we gotta be like: I’m gonna tap that.”
“$60 dental floss for underwear.”
“I’m so delicate and feminine.”
“You shall not be seen in public, flaunting your god-given assets.”
“I’m sometimes masculine and completely subservient in my own relationship.”
“That’s quite the cake you got there honey.”
“Naked tits so big that you have to unfold it to see them.”
“Yeah, men, pwang!”
“Are you hungry? Mew.”
“Child? I get a taste of it every now and then.”
“I’m an elephant, but I’m not a super elephant.”
“Why is there music coming out of my ass?”
“I’m smitin’ your ass.”
“I don’t know if you have a job, but we can have sex while we're waiting.”
“You’re giving me a fart in a bag and hoping I like the smell.”
“I was traumatized when Aaron asked me what my body count in college was.”
“These weird freaking freakazoids, most of them are friends of mine.”
“I didn’t KEEP a knife in my desk, I HAD a knife in my desk.”
“Woah, woah, woah, calm down you little brown people.”
“Okay, sheesh, no more electricity for my nipples.”
“There’ll be drugs, there’ll be prostitutes, it’ll be amazing.”
“He was probably too busy rubbing his language against something, so he got hit by a van.”
“How many bikini clad bitches can we jam into a swimming pool of champagne?”
“Your bitches, all bitches, are bitches.”
“You’re going back into rehab! You go Britney!”
“Sag these things down to their gonads.”
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.